I remember it as clearly as if it happened yesterday.
My dad had a passionate heart along with a hot temper. You know how they say that we look for our dads in our boyfriends? I definitely had that tendency through college. I was self aware enough to know that I was attracting men who were darker in nature and had a short fuse.
When I was in my mid-twenties, I was on a date with a new boyfriend. We were cooking together, and he blew up at me for doing something wrong in the kitchen. My face got red as I retreated into the little girl who had thought she had done something terribly wrong.
Then I realized that there was something terribly wrong, and it had nothing to do with me. So I stood up for myself. I asked him to leave, and even after being showered with apology phone calls, flowers, and gifts, I knew that I could not accept that into my life anymore. It was especially hard for me because I was in a foreign country, lonely, and felt that I “needed” a boyfriend. I was – for the first time – willing to be alone, which was not easy. It was a powerful moment because I was telling the universe that I was breaking the pattern and was not going to settle for anything less than what I wanted.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but by saying “no” to what I no longer was willing to tolerate in my life, I was saying “yes” to what I did want to attract.
This opened the pathway to meeting my husband, Marc, who is the most patient, loving, and supportive husband on the planet. No ounce of temper in this gentleman!
My husband, Marc, with our baby Sienna four years ago!
I share this personal story because it can be directly linked to our businesses.
Recently, I opened a spa in Woodstock, and there was a lovely woman who I really wanted to hire. She was bright, smart as a whip, and capable. I could see her strengths and potential very clearly. However, as we had more conversations, I noticed she had a tendency to gossip and speak exceedingly poorly of others. I have a “No Gossip” rule in all of my relationships. I know if you are gossiping about others to me, you are gossiping about me to others. Pure and simple.
Long story short, as agonizing as it was, I finally decided not to hire her. It was the harder decision to make because I had no other alternative and the spa would be opening in a week. In the past, I would have gone against my intuition and hired her to please others and to make my life “easier” because that’s been my pattern. By saying “no”, I disrupted the pattern that was holding me back.
Just like the hot-tempered boyfriend, I had to say “no” in order to bring in the energy I wanted in my sphere for the sake of my sanity and for my team. And even though I didn’t have a replacement at the time, I was willing to let it go for the quality of my experience and journey.
Three members from our Savor Spa Woodstock team!
Your past mistakes are gold. Unless you take the time to step back and really analyze why mistakes happen in your business, it will happen over and over again. Self awareness and ownership are so powerful; if you are able to say “no” to patterns you are manifesting, you have up-leveled your game. Doing this will also strengthen your business intuition, which is your most powerful decision-making tool.
What are your non-negotiables? What are you not going to accept in your life anymore? Stand up for it even though it means that you will have to do without sometimes. It’s okay. By saying “no”, you are standing up for what you deserve, and the good stuff will come when you make the space for it.
P.S. The Manifest Method School starts on September 8 at 2PM EST! During these live calls with me, I will teach you how to hone your business intuition and learn how to manifest an amazing business and life you love. If you want to have a free 15-minute consult with one of our team members to see if it’s the right fit for you, sign up here!